Mayssam Zaaroura
Special to The Daily Star

Lebanon has gotten used to its children departing to find a life in far-off countries and cities. In the current economic climate  Lebanese youth has become accustomed, if not expectant, of leaving for a better and supposedly easier life abroad.
But what about those who remain behind, or who come back home, expecting family get-togethers and endless days and nights out with friends, cousins and siblings, and find none.
Dalia, 20, has known her best friend and relative, Miriam, 22, all her life.
Miriam left for a while to study in Europe and came
back eight years later, eager and full of expectations of life in Beirut. She was faced with less than perfect circumstances, but was not altogether disillusioned. Reality was slightly
different than the illusion, but not unbearable.
Dalia, however, had lived here all her life and was eager to continue a Master’s degree abroad. It seems that the two would never get to live in one place for long enough to consolidate their friendship.
“I hate the thought that Dalia has to leave so soon after I came here and have gotten used to her,” said Miriam, adding: “But what can she do. They don’t have the program she wants and it’s far too expensive here without the jobs to help her get through it. Who knows, maybe I’ll follow her.”
Dalia is just as upset over
the issue.
“I waited eight years, since Miriam left, so we could spend time together and have fun and now it seems like I have to leave too. It’s not fair.”
It is a harsh truth that one must face, as relatives and friends head out in search of their own destinies and as
age-long, or even month-long, friendships divide on differ-
ent paths.
Lebanon has become a country that produces endless generations yet is unable to keep them close to home. The lack of efficient, world-class universities, libraries and businesses, detracts from the world-famous beaches, night life and cuisine.
High school and university graduates are forced to leave their homes and head to the US, Europe and Canada looking for higher education, as the universities here cannot provide many programs of study. Many universities have yet to establish post-graduate programs or doctorates of philosophy programs.
Following that, business graduates, engineers, doctors and architects are at a loss for work in a country that is over-stocked with them and under-supplied in terms of good employment.
However, Miriam believes that those heading out in search of “greener pastures” have been misled by the illusion of life abroad. According to her, they believe that all their problems, financial and social will be solved when they live in a Western city that provides the “perfect job and perfect lifestyle.”
That is not always the case.
“Some do actually find themselves abroad,” said Miriam, “but only after years of struggling to fit in and they face things they have never been exposed to before.”
“They are in a much, much bigger country, in a completely different society, most often directly contrasting the one they grew up in and are used to and they are not completely surrounded and engulfed by their family and friends and culture.”
Paul Redbrook from the UK agrees. He has been living
in Lebanon for almost two years now and has become as much a native as any full-blooded Lebanese.
“People here don’t realize what they’ve got,” he said. “They’re always looking for the ‘greener grass on the other side’ but they don’t realize the ease of life here ­ the laid-back friendly people and the enjoyment Lebanon has to offer.”
“The only positive aspect that people perceive is better wages, but they are not aware of the tough working conditions, the potential racism and the extremely high cost of living in the West.
“People here raise an eyebrow when I say that I would rather live here than anywhere in Europe. They ask why here? and I say, why not here?”
Many Lebanese would not share the same view as Redbrook. And some would be right. Although Lebanon does offer a wonderful life for some to enjoy, it does not provide the extensive education and career opportunities of the West.
This is true for Ali, 20. He has just graduated from high school and wants to continue university. However, his parents are eager for him to travel to France to study, and in addition, obtain  French nationality.
Ali, however, is leaving behind Leila, 19, his long-term girlfriend. The two are unable to get married due to financial difficulties and age, nor are they able to stay together in Lebanon. So what is their solution?
“Well, we’re going to try and work on a long-distance relationship,” said Leila. “But everyone knows that they hardly ever work out. I feel like my heart is breaking, and there is nothing I can do.”
Majed, 26, is facing a very similar, conflicting situation.
He has been working in Lebanon for almost two years, after also working and living
in Nigeria, and wants to continue into higher education. However, he has not opted to go to the American University of Beirut where he obtained his Bachelor degree to get a Master’s degree; he is leaving to Canada to obtain an MA in business administration.
Why is he leaving?
“Why am I leaving?” he asks, jokingly. “I don’t know anymore. The university in Toronto is so much better than here. It’s known throughout the world and it will guarantee me a great job with a higher salary.”
Majed, Leila, Ali, Miriam and Dalia are like so many young Lebanese men and women with ambition, wanting to create something better for themselves, but simultaneously hating to be left out of everything they have grown up with and gotten accustomed to.
“It’s scary, but exciting at the same time,” said Majed. “Meeting new people, seeing new places, but then again you have to leave everything else behind and start a new life.
“But now,” he added, “I just feel like staying at home in Lebanon, I’m going to miss everyone so much and I’ve built a good life for myself here, unfortunately it’s just not enough. I really hope this is worth it.”